When life becomes the story

I haven't picked up a book in a month.

I know, I know. This is a blog centered around reading and wine. The joy of a good story and the conversations that come from sharing one. So admitting that I haven't finished a book in over a month feels a little... counterproductive. To say the least.

But one thing I've always promised to be in this space is honest. Relatable. Transparent.

The truth is, my life has changed drastically over the last few months, but especially in the last few weeks. Thankfully, they're changes I'm excited about. Changes that will lead to growth, new opportunities, and new chapters.

But even good change is still change.

I've never done particularly well with uncertainty, and lately it feels like I'm living in a bubble filled with it. My mind is constantly bouncing between excitement and overthinking, trying to plan for a future that hasn't even begun to unfold yet. It's exciting, but it's also exhausting.

For a while, I thought I was in a reading slump.

I blamed the book. Then I blamed myself. Maybe I just hadn't found the right story. Maybe I wasn't making enough time. Maybe I was spending too much time on my phone or in my head.

But I don't actually think the book is the problem.

I don’t even think I’m the problem (because when am I ever, right?).

I think my mind is just full.

There are so many reasons we stop reading for a while. Burnout. Stress. Grief. Major life changes. Decision fatigue. Sometimes we're simply carrying so much in our own lives that it's hard to make room for someone else's story.

Lately, my days have been filled with conversations, planning, dreaming, traveling, applying, celebrating, and trying to navigate what's next. There are moments where I stop and realize that while I may not have been turning pages, I've been living a life that feels incredibly full.

And honestly, that's something I'm grateful for.

I had been dreaming and praying about having a life that felt like it was moving. One where new opportunities appeared, where there were plans to make, places to go, people to meet, and possibilities around every corner. I think I'm finally in that era.

It's just taking some adjusting.

Because a full life doesn't always leave room for all the things you love, at least not right away. Sometimes balance takes time. Sometimes you have to let one thing rest while another takes your attention.

Reading has always been a place I return to, not a chore I have to complete. The books on my shelf (and in my kindle) aren't keeping score. They aren't disappointed that I haven't turned their pages in a few weeks. They'll be there when I'm ready.

And the truth is, I think "ready" is a lot closer than I realize.

I can already feel myself craving those quiet evenings again. Pouring a glass of wine, phone on DND, sinking into the couch, and disappearing into someone else's world for a while. Those moments have always brought me back to myself, and I know they will again.

Maybe balance isn't something you stumble upon. Maybe it's something you build, brick by brick. Right now, I'm learning how to make room for both: a life that's growing and changing, and the slower moments that help me appreciate it.

So no, this isn't goodbye to reading. It's not even a break.

It's simply a reminder that sometimes the best stories aren't the ones on our bookshelves. Sometimes they're the ones we're busy living.

And before long, I'll be back where I love to be: book in one hand, a glass of wine in the other, with even more life to bring into every page I read.

Until then, I'll keep collecting stories, both the ones I read and the ones I'm lucky enough to live.